Posted by
ML Smith on Monday, February 09, 2009 4:52:42 PM
People don't forget things saved as Euphoric Recall. Alex Rodriguez gets my vote for Stupidity of the Month; his attempt to camouflage Inbox memory as Spam is ludicrous. He says he doesn't know what drugs he takes, which means one or both of two things:
[1] He is using something mighty potent. You don't go into a complete stupor on Vicodin, and if he can't remember what he takes somebody out there is going to remember it for him. I will say this - there have been times when I have noticed his eyes were pinned. I'm not going to speculate, but maybe 72 hours without will be revealing - withdrawal is pretty obvious.
If you read between the lines you are likely to conclude that he's setting the stage for the skeleton pounding on his closet door. Something is coming out, that's for sure. Alex is a lousy liar - if he had any sense at all he would have spoken with Bill Clinton before dredging up a blank dating back to 2003. I have always admired Bill for his ability to tell a bold faced lie and skate...with a smile, no less. Alex has his tail between his legs already and the guilty "doggie" expression on his face doesn't help. It won't be long before someone sniffs it out and I'm willing to bet that the odor comes from the funky department. You know, don't you? It's two aisles down from "Don't forget to tuck your shirt in, Elliot."
[2] If it's not number one, get ready for the stench. Alex isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I didn't figure him for a complete moron. Now, I suppose it's time to re-evaluate - what price is Alex willing to pay for admission? Ambiguity costs nothing but the truth...well...did I ever tell you about my buddie, a full blooded Sioux named Jerry Horses-Hit? Of course his name is hyphenated. Semantically speaking, Alec's-Rod-Reeks isn't too far off the mark. He is, after all, quite prolific...even in baseball.
So - is it number one or number two? Both, you say? I'm down with that; it usually comes out that way, but we do need to keep it in perspective. Where else can we put it? Okay, I'll admit I'm being a bit malicious with my little word-play game, but he started it! The real deal is this - I don't give a damn. I wouldn't give a nickel. How much money does he make? Enough that he doesn't give a damn either? That must be it...I can't think of any rational reason for this circus trapeze act.
Alex, take some aspirin and call us in the morning. What? What's that you say? You might not remember? We'll give you a hint. Think about what you forgot and you'll remember.